I fought pirannas and I fought the cold....

I really did walk in on my parents fucking. I was just old enough to figure out precisely what was going on. My Dad was on top, reminding me much of the wave pool in Action Park and my Mom was on the bottom just looking terrified. Not that I caught them, but that my obese father would lose his balance in the confusion and kill her. It was physically impossible to back pedal out of there, slam the door and haul ass back upstairs any faster than I did. It matters not. The damage had been done. That image was singed into my brain forever. It can't be undone.

Today on the ever important facebook news feed it said to try some new friend finder, that I think is exactly like the new friend finder. Though I can't imagine anyone I would still want to find that isn't already on this godforsaken abyss of time suckage, but I am impulsive as shit. Immediately, I saw my ex. Which one, you may ask. THE ex. The one I had to make a conscious decision to never, ever look up on Facebook, even in my weakest hour. Like i did some 25 years earlier, I quickly tried to unsee what I saw. I exed out of there (pun) like I had busty lesbian enema videos on my work computer. It was no use. It was such a blur I can only be sure of two things: 1) It was definitely her, her super blonde, long blonde hair was a blinding and beautiful 2) the guy she is with is dressed as a pumpkin.

Do you really want to be friends with girls from your past. Or are you planting your seed to plant your seed? Are you vying for the coveted title of emergency dick in a box? Or do you have a legitimate pathetic desire to count your ex as a friend? Who knows what are true motivations are...