The worst text message I ever wrote....

.....but didn't send. Even I'm not that much of a prick. Morality aside, it was really too long to text with my fat, stubby sausage fingers...But that didn't stop me from posting it here: Enjoy?

Did I ever tell you how much I hated spending time with you? I was always counting down the minutes till we had sex. Not that sex with you was so great, just that talking to you was so painful. And when I say talking to you, I mean you babble aimlessly about people I don’t know interspersed with the occasional dour complaint that your one friend fatter than you passes off as wit. I actually drink some of your beer when you go to the bathroom. Just so the minimum time spent with you in order for you to delude yourself that you have self-respect before you fuck someone who obviously hates you and with run for the door before even cleaning off the post-coital ooze.